William Allen

As an infant, William Allen was adopted through DePelchin Children’s Center, but like many adoptees, Allen longed to be reunited with his birth family and sought DePelchin’s help in doing so. After successful reunification with his biological mother, Allen expressed his appreciation to members of DePelchin’s Post-Adoption Services Department for their assistance and support. He also shared his adoption journey in the following letter to DePelchin.

Born in December of 1926, Ernestine experienced the hardships of post-Depression America working in the fields on her father’s farm in rural Oklahoma and Texas. As a teenager, she had to face the fear and sadness of World War II, during which time she became employed as a ship yard welder. Then, in 1949, this young North American Indian girl had to make the most difficult decision of her life.

Ernestine was pregnant, and as an unwed mother she had absolutely no support from her family or friends. Only her sister, Elsie, was there for her each day. Working as a waitress in a small town, she knew she couldn’t afford to raise a child on her meager income. But she loved this baby boy and stayed with him for a few days while she struggled with her decision. During this short time they had together, she named him James.

It was the most difficult decision of her life. But because she loved James so much, she felt she had to give him a chance at a better life, so she went to DePelchin Faith Home and terminated her parental rights so that he could be adopted. The pain must have been unbearable for both of these women because Ernestine’s sister, Elsie, who had helped her so much, returned almost 12 months later when she had a house large enough for James to have his own room, as required by DePelchin Faith Home.

But James had already been discovered by a stable, responsible couple living in Houston. Charles and Nell had grown up in rural Kansas but had relocated to Houston following the war. Nell was unable to have children of her own, but she, too, came to love James. Eventually, she and Charles adopted him as their son and did everything within their power to see that his life was good.

Ernestine had made the “right” decision but she never knew what had happened to James.

Over the years, she endured the worry, despair and guilt of giving James away. Although she made her decision with his best interest in mind, she felt she had abandoned him to an uncertain future.

James, while in his teens, learned he was adopted but didn’t fully understand the depth of his birthmother’s sacrifice until he had children of his own. He wanted to know her and he wanted to tell her he understood. So, in 1987, he contacted DePelchin Children’s Center hoping to reconnect with Ernestine, but her husband didn’t know about James and she couldn’t acknowledge the secret she had kept for 40 years.

Although it was hard for James, he understood why she couldn’t see him and he was happy she was alive and well. He had also discovered he was a Choctaw Indian, which confirmed his life long connections with American Indian culture. But he still feared she would die before he could see her again. And when his adoptive mother, Nell, died on January, 17, 2000, James knew he had to find Ernestine before it was too late.

He intensified his search efforts and on Tuesday, March 22, 2005, James and Ernestine were reunited at her home. For two solid hours, they talked and touched and cried. It was everything they both had hoped for. There was a knowing connection between them. And when James left, they agreed he would return during the summer to meet Ernestine’s sister, Elsie, who had tried unsuccessfully to reclaim James.

My purpose in writing today is to share one story in thousands where a life was brighter because of DePelchin Children’s Center. Because of Kezia DePelchin and the efforts of all of those who have shared her vision, Ernestine found a place where she felt her son had a better chance at life. She trusted DePelchin to find the parents and the life she wished for him. But that was just the beginning.

Although finding stable, loving homes for children will always be your primary objective, please never fail to recognize the exceptionally valuable role of your Post-Adoption Services. As parents and children choose to reconnect in ever greater numbers, your Post-Adoption Services work is essential in preparing them for the myriad of emotions and potential outcomes associated with reconnecting.

Your Post-Adoption Services Group is an essential link in your chain of services. I have absolutely no doubt that without the encouragement, patience, compassion and professionalism of [your staff], I could not have completed my journey back to my mother.

Sincerely,
William Allen (James McKinney)