Kayla Found a Forever Family

"In February of 2003, my life changed!” said Kayla Cole as she addressed an audience of DePelchin Children’s Center supporters. Kayla, 15, and her mother Hazel Cole shared their life-changing adoption story with hundreds of guests at DePelchin’s Annual Spring Luncheon. Mrs. Cole described her family’s adoption journey as one of faith, obedience, patience, courage, commitment and humility. The staff members of DePelchin Children’s Center describe it as a resounding success and an example of what can be achieved when caring families share their lives and open their homes to children in need.

With help from DePelchin, Kayla and the Coles were united through adoption in 2003. Like many foster children, 11-year-old Kayla had endured numerous foster placements—16 in all—before being adopted.

When the Cole family met her, she was living in a foster home in south Texas and had little hope of ever having a “forever family.”

“I was one of the lucky ones because many older kids don’t get adopted,” said Kayla. “My story is about change. I was moved 17 times in my first 11 years, including a placement in Brazil and one in Utah. I always thought I would be back with my biological family someday, even when I was told that my parents’ rights were terminated.”

Hazel and Carleton Cole believe that God used their older daughter Whitney to lead them to their adoption calling. When she was 11-years-old, Whitney began a relentless crusade to convince her parents to give her a younger sister. After much soul-searching and prayer, the Coles began to get excited about the idea. They spoke with their pastor, who referred them to DePelchin. After completing the required screening and training, they received their foster-to-adopt license in October of 2002.

“We could now begin to search for a child, but we quickly learned that it was not about finding the right child for us; it was about finding the right family for the child,” said Hazel.

Initially, the Coles were interested in a child their minister had told them about, but when that didn’t work out, they were directed to a Web site to view the extensive database of photos and information on the thousands of children in Texas who are available for adoption. It broke their hearts to see so many children in need of a home, but that is where they found Kayla.

They soon learned that many other families were also interested in adopting Kayla. In the end, though, the Coles were deemed to be the best match for her, so they drove to Gonzales, Texas to meet her. “Our first weekend was pretty much amazing, even though I made them go swimming with me in the pool at the motel,” remembered Kayla. “It was winter, and we were all freezing, but still laughing.”

Kayla visited the Coles twice at their Houston home. Then finally, on April 18, 2003, she took up residence at her new “forever” home. Kayla admits that it took some time before she was entirely convinced that her new family and new home were permanent. The adjustment period was at times difficult for all concerned. Because of her troubled past, Kayla had many issues with trust, and she feared abandonment. This led to behavioral problems, both at home and school. She constantly tested her parents’ patience and commitment.

“I thought ‘in-school suspension’ was just another class,” joked Kayla. “I let everyone know not to mess with me, because I was ready to fight at a moment’s notice.”

The Coles admit that, in private, they sometimes questioned whether they would ever overcome these difficulties. But they loved Kayla and constantly reassured her that they would always love her, even though they could not accept her behavior.

“There were many times when we lost our tempers and said things we wished we hadn’t,” admitted Mrs. Cole. “But with the help of our counselor, we were able to see our mistakes and apologize, and learn a better way of handling things. It was also helpful for Kayla to see that parents are not perfect and can make mistakes, too. If you want your children to respect you, you must respect them, and that means listening with your ears—and your heart.”

During this challenging time, the Coles relied on counseling, prayer and the support and encouragement of their fellow church members. Eventually, Kayla became involved in the church’s youth program, and in time, her self-esteem and self-confidence increased. Upon entering middle school, her grades improved and she began to make better choices.

Kayla recalls a pivotal time when she finally began to realize that she was becoming what she calls “a normal kid with a loving home.” She was attending a therapeutic camp in the Texas Hill Country, which specializes in helping children with behavioral and learning difficulties. She enjoyed the activities and games the camp offered, but remembers feeling like she did not belong there. She no longer felt the constant urge to rebel, and her behavior had improved significantly. Eventually, she was even asked by her therapist to speak with a group of younger girls who were struggling with the same types of issues she had experienced. This turning point did not happen overnight, Kayla told the girls, but she assured them that it would happen if they didn’t give up.

“This past year has been the best year of my life,” exclaimed Kayla. “I’ve been on the honor roll, and I get excellent conduct grades. I have more freedom than ever before because I’ve learned to follow simple rules and not argue with my parents—well, not too much, anyway!”

In 2006, a new chapter was added to Kayla’s adoption story. Although Kayla had no contact with her biological family, her case file revealed that a minister and his wife had adopted her two younger biological brothers, Michael and Gabriel. Kayla had always been curious about her siblings and hoped to one day know more about them. Her wish came true one Sunday in June of 2006. While the Coles were attending their usual morning church service, the minister introduced a new pastor who was hired to lead the church’s Hispanic ministry. During the new pastor’s sermon, the congregation learned that he and his wife have two young sons, Michael and Gabriel. Later that night, the Coles began to wonder if this was a mere coincidence or if God had a plan to reunite Kayla with her biological brothers. Amazingly, a simple phone call to the minister and his wife confirmed that Michael and Gabriel were indeed Kayla’s biological brothers.

Today, the children enjoy a close relationship, and both families say they have been enriched by the entire experience.

“We don’t know what is in store for us in the future, but we’ll take it as it comes,” says Mrs. Cole. “We know this is a very big chapter in a book that’s still to be written. We also know this is far too big for us to comprehend in the big picture, and we are so blessed to be part of story that’s far too unbelievable than even a Hollywood movie.”