Child abuse

Q: I divorced my husband eight years ago. From that marriage, I have a 13 year old daughter. I’ve been dating the same man for about nine months now. When I need to attend to some business or just go out to run some errands, I often ask him to babysit my daughter. This arrangement seemed to work out fine until a few days ago. My daughter approached me and told me that when my boyfriend watches over her, they sometimes get into fights and he threatens her with physical violence. My boyfriend is very mild-mannered, and this does not seem like him at all. I want to make sure that my daughter is safe, but I also do not want to falsely accuse my boyfriend. What should I do?

A: You owe it to this girl to contact the authorities and let them investigate it. She needs help. Even if it ends up that she is not telling the truth, it doesn't sound like appropriate behavior for a 13 year old girl. She learned this from someone and Child Protective Services (CPS) is the state agency in Texas who investigates allegations of child abuse. Your information will be held in strictest confidence. In 1998, there were more than 111,000 investigations of child abuse and neglect by Child Protective Services in Texas. Of those investigations, CPS confirmed almost 15,000 cases of physical abuse, 7,600 cases of sexual abuse and 2,400 cases of emotional abuse. The balance of the 61,000 confirmed cases in Texas were for neglect. Three times as many girls as boys are sexually abused. Boys are more likely to suffer from physical and emotional abuse. It is estimated, however, that the actual incidence of abuse and neglect is three times greater than the number reported. Child abuse of any type cannot be dismissed. People known to the victims, usually family members or friends of the family, commit most child sexual abuse. Knowing some of the signs associated with childhood sexual abuse may help adults recognize what's happening to a child and intervene to protect the child. Since younger children are more frequently victims, and because they tend not to report abuse, they often suffer abuse the longest. Some signs of possible sexual abuse are as follows:
1. Excessive seductive and promiscuous behaviors.
2. Bedwetting or "accidents" inappropriate for the age of the child.
3. Unusual and graphic knowledge of sexual matters.
4. Phobic or fearful behavior around males.
5. Separation fears, especially in younger children.
6. Decline of social behavior and loss of interest in usual childhood activities.
7. Frequent urinary tract or vaginal tract infections, inflammation, or pain in the vulval area.

Child abuse (sexual, physical or emotional) creates tremendous issues for children in their development. Since children do not often have the same cognitive and social resources as adults, they have fewer coping skills and fewer support systems with which to protect themselves against the ill effects of abuse. They are usually trapped in the family situation with no protection. The results of abuse include the following:
1. Inability to trust others.
2. Avoidance of intimacy and closeness in relationships.
3. Anger, which in boys most often is directed against others; in girls, against herself.
4. Feelings of incompetence, guilt, and shame.
5. Often serious problems with substance abuse.
6. Sexually risky behaviors that develop in late adolescence and early adulthood.

Early detection and treatment for the whole family is necessary to correct the problems that result in abusive behavior. Under the law, child abuse, when it is discovered, must be reported to Children's Protective Services or to the local law enforcement agency. Reports are kept confidential and can only be disclosed to law enforcement or by court order. Texas CPS Child Abuse Hotline is 800-252-5400. It is answered 24 hours a day. A child may also report abuse on its own behalf. However, since many children receive threats to their safety for reporting abuse and are often fearful of being blamed for the problem, the burden of protection rests on adults to ensure child safety. Reporting abuse is often the only way perpetrators come to the attention of treatment professionals.

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